M*

It was

With the old music

Of your flute

You're sound thrills me off

I remain speechless 

Imagining out of the unimagininable

My nerves get alert

My muscles tend to contract

More than even relaxing

I get into a hole

Of black darkness

And it doesn't end

With the music flowing

I then become weak

But stronger than Samson

This pounding heart

Creates a rhythm

I don't know its keys

Then I hear

Voices calling me

"Girl will you wake up?"

Opening my outer eyes

Christ! I had gone away

I had died

Buried by that beauty

Of the sound you make

And my love for you

But first

Being simple and clear

We live 

We love 

We lie

Cold lonely world

Give lessons the hard way

So hard to swallow

Now we face our fears

One is scared of being lonely

But it seems there's a path

Where everyone must take

Don't take it for hatred

But part of your story

Made our paths cross

Quick recovery 

All the best

Then 

Wish I had opened

My eyes wide enough

To see that extension

In your so called skull,, idiot

I find it amusing

Or should it be ironical

Since you made me mad

And opted for the joke

Friend zone

You always want to win

So as to be seen a genious

Or that you can't give in

You bloody jigger

You always talk

And give the stern look

A great analyser

In politics football 

When will you grow

To care about others

But still

Am fighting the tears

Lest they drop down

Annoying me again

My heart solemn it feels

Bitterness and pain

It looks like guilt

Being asked by conscience

To ignore everything

Since when twas your turn

The other party ignored

Cover anger with smile

Laugh keep smiling

But it still shocks

Why did he love brushing

His arms over me

I've never understood

How I slept

Then moment I get up

Not even 

Why I lied to myself

When all was wrong

But l do know

The jealous I feel

Whenever i see you

Spending ...

And it doesn't go past

My hatred for you

And now

Its only I

In this stormy walk

Only I

In this sandy sinking climate

Only I

Who is always wrong

Only I

Who people take advantage

Only I

Who keeps on being lied to

Only I 

Who has to swallow tablets

Only I

Who sometimes get sick

Only I

Who is all alone

There is no shoulder

Even to cling to

There is no moment

Even to keep a smile

There is no room

Even to isolate oneself

There is no human

Even to trust my heart

Useless world useless life

Useless dreams useless ambition

Useless authority useless beings

Useless thoughts useless deeds

Useless love useless feelings

 Am I also useless?

The end

And one thing I kept in mind is that expectations kill all time, I don't have to give all to people who give half but truth be said I can't love someone to that point even if it's my husband

...

That's the last post

Am out of street lights

As I move into 

The darkest part

Of this market centre

My spotlight bright

Enough to show 

A mere girl 

Walking around  

Tight jeans was best

But being a sunny day

Am in a short skirt

And this long coat

Does nothing except

To pull my pace back

As I walk

Its clear am in street

Full of dark manners

Evil guys around

Had they been waiting

For someone

Or had they planned

For that girl

Always ignoring

Those calls like dogs

I now lose vaginity

To a rapist

A stranger

Oh God!!!! 

Not even

My boyfriend

Rapists 

Its not hatred

Its not hard love

Its just nature

Its forces

Goodbye lovely

Guess its time 

I fought time

To win back time

I have to leave

Hide for a while

Cover myself away

And perhaps learn

Its not perfect

To be out there

Its somewhere 

Evil to beings

Of kind hearts

But I wonder

...will you forgive me

Or forget me

Or call me 

A stranger

Like your dad

But its you're future

You're destiny lovely

That I have to create

And its only now 

Or will be never

Should have done it 

But I couldn't

When you grow

You'll not understand

That tradition

Is more than blood

Is more than care

Is more than brains

Is more than men

Is more than hell

Wolves

Is my name to folks

Who gave me out 

At mere age of teen

To be a wife

To the stranger 

You know him

So pretty one

My journey starts

Tonight I guess

And I leave you 

Nothing to grow with

Except you're brain

Or you'll be buried

By that stupidity

All around us