Doom

If I take much of it,

I'll be afraid, I'll opt to stop and perhaps I'll feel like I'll never be able to be sober or alive again.

But hold on;

Before I took it.

It felt so cold, so overwhelming, so painful, so depressing, so devastating, I'm even suicidal when sober, I'm super scared when sober and when they say I abuse drugs, I wonder how lone they want me to be.

.

I can't sleep

The genuine rest I have is after taking a pill

I can't be happy

The genuine laugh I have is after smoking pot

I'm not honest

The truth come out only when I'm in pain

I'm never clear,

The confidence comes out when I'm high

I'm always in the closet

The clear image of me is after you've seen me broken

I hide alot

I let out especially in pain in shame in regret

I like the thought of being left alone after everyone's dead but it dawn's to me that I'll die before them.

So when I take a little just to sleep or laugh or be sane or say what's been nagging me, let me have my closure in peace.